How to Hold Space as a Coach: Athena, Calypso, and Circe

I spent three hours immersed in the world of mythology and a hero's journey of awakening, acceptance, forgiveness, and love, and I didn't get home until after 1am with a ringing in my ear from the blaring IMAX speakers, and could only think of Athena, Calypso, and Circe.

(I'm sure you can guess which movie I saw, Odyssey.)

Athena shining light into the spaces that Odysseus could only see in his periphery, holding space as he walked with his questions. She, with him, during his darkest moments.

Calypso asking the same question over and over and then gently bringing him back into his heart when he began to shut down, shrink, fighting with himself to remember. She, with him, mending his body through the sacred waters, coaxed and yet often not, watched the reflection of his emotions.

And then there was Circe, bright with a quickness, a painful knowing, cutting through his illusion with sharp truths that didn't cause him fear or anger but instead it cleared his perceptions.

I am definitely not here to say that I am the Goddesses and yet, we all are the Goddesses. Their archetypal energies burn brightly and sparks of their embers show us the way of our own divine medicine.

So let me show you where all three of them moved through a mentorship session I held last Thursday, and then I will hand you the two recipes that came out of that room.

The room, and the woman in it

We began the way we always begin, gaze lowered or eyes closed, receiving our breath together, and may whatever has been occurring in your life be filled with wonder and awe and placed gently to the side. Then I asked who would love to start, with any celebrations, any considerations, any moments, and then whatever you desire support with.

The woman I would love you to meet is coming out of three years of deep healing. She knows life continues and that we are always going to go through these things, and still, something in her has turned toward the light again. What feels true for her right now is being a business owner, not only the healer and not only the coach, but her strategic mind awake and saying plainly that this is a business and it needs to be profitable. She reached for a word and could not quite find it, and the one that finally came to her was integral.

She has built so much. There is so much knowledge and wisdom in her going untapped, and she knows it, and she said so.

And she walked me through everything she is planning, and all of it was lovely, and underneath the deliciousness of ALL of her ideas and dreams there was a loop, a rhythm, a chorus that she sings and has sung over and over again.

Here is the loop. She gets inspired, and the inspiration is real and it is gorgeous, and the very first thing she does with it is go to her socials. Then she comes home and tries to make the thing linear, and it gets heavier and heavier, and by the time it is planned out the steam has gone, and she parks it. And then something new inspires her, and it begins again.

Athena, and the thing she could not see

I could see the whole of it from where I was sitting, and she could not.

That is the Athena of it, shining light into the space she could only catch in her periphery, and it only becomes hers if she says yes to it first, so I asked her before I named a single thing. It's not like you don't know this part, I said to her, but I just wonder if we all consider it. And again, take it or leave it.

Then I told her about my coffee.

For years I had my coffee first, every single morning, even knowing that in perimenopause the caffeine before anything else is exactly what I should not be doing, and then I would crash and burn by the middle of the day. So I tried it the other way, the darn freaking protein first even though I did not desire it, and the coffee waiting for me at ten or eleven, and now I get so excited about it.

Which is all her socials were asking for. Not to go away and not to come last, but to move into the middle of her loop and become a bridge rather than the chorus. She gets to take the thing she is genuinely excited about and shift it a little, so that it is intentionally placed as the invitation, and as the preparation for the invitation she is about to make.

A while later she said she felt called out, because the first thing she had grabbed that morning was also her coffee.

Calypso, and the big shining word

Then came the Calypso stretch, which is the one I have to slow myself down for every single time.

She used the words all in, that she is ready to BE ALL IN with her business. And when a woman hands me a big shining word like that, it is usually a gateway into something deeper, so I asked her what she meant by it, and then a little later, more slowly, I asked her again.

Walk with it, I said. Notice what you mean at this point by all in as a business owner, because sometimes we take large contexts of verbiage, and then because it is so broad, we dismiss it since it has no true meaning in our hearts.

And she is a woman who coaches founders on being strategic and intentional, so I invited her to consider whether she is taking her own medicine. The very thing she offers up to everyone else, so freely and so well, is she also giving it to herself.

All of us are already all in with our business in one capacity. It is simply a question of what the next layer is.

I did not answer any of it for her.

Circe, and the leap

And then Circe arrived, who has to be quick and warm at the very same time.

Here I reached for the Seven Energy States of a Space Holder, because the map shows a woman where she actually is, which is far kinder than anything I might think about it.

Dreamwalker is the descending, and she goes quiet there, and the information begins to arrive. Elder is the enlightening, and the lessons land. Visionary is the visioning, and she can see it and feel it, and she is called toward it.

And then she leaps.

Two states sit between the seeing of a thing and the telling of it. Omniscient is the offering, where an offer gets named and grounded and given its shape, and Transformer is the tending, where the back end quietly gets built underneath it, and she goes straight past both of them into Earthshine, the emerging, telling everyone about it before any of the pieces exist.

Which is the same energy, only walked in order. Here is what that looks like when the offer gets honored the whole way through.

It is a little like a fifth child, I said. You assume this one will raise herself, that the older ones will look after her, that she will somehow figure it all out, and all the while she is standing right there in the doorway, waiting to be tended.

An offer waits in the same way. It goes out into the world before anyone has built it a home, and then it stands there wondering whether someone is coming back for it.

She laughed and asked why I was speaking directly to her.

Because your offers would love to be met one at a time, is why. Not five children, one of whom is quietly expected to raise the rest.

Once you know that one offer clearly, you understand its onboarding and its offboarding, its vision and its intent, and you get to give it its sovereign duties and dues with real respect. You are amazing, you get to say to it, and I am being so sacred and so reverent with you.

Which is not an I thing. It is not a me, me, me. It is an oh, you, as an energetic entity.

And then you tend to the back end so the offer has legs and roots. And then you emerge and say look at me, along with my offer.

She sat with all of it for a long moment, and then she said, okay, I will walk with this.

All three of them were in that one hour, and they are in every hour I hold. Here is what each one does when she arrives.

Two recipes you can cook in any room you hold

The first one is mine. It is what I was cooking on my side of the table, and once you can see it written out you can cook it in any room you hold.

• Ask before you name it. It's not like you don't know this part, but I just wonder if we all consider it. And again, take it or leave it. She gets to say no thank you, and almost nobody ever does.

• Say the whole loop out loud. Not the tidy version, all the way through to the parking of it.

• Put yourself in it. My coffee, my perimenopause, my crash in the middle of the day. She cannot feel called out by a pattern she is watching from the outside.

• When she hands you a big shining word, ask what she means, and then ask her again more slowly. A word that stays broad has no true meaning in the heart.

• Use the map, not your opinion. The Seven Energy States shows her where she actually is, which is kinder and more useful than whatever I happen to think.

• Leave it with her. I did not answer any of it for her.

The second one is hers, and I have been thinking about it since Thursday, because while I was holding the space she was doing something just as skilled from her side of the table, and nobody ever hands you that recipe.

• Bring it before it is finished. Here is the raw stuff, this is what I typed while I was sitting in the audience, and I left it in its raw form.

• Ask to be interrupted. One of the most generous things said to me all week was, I will pause here for a moment, in case you would love to say something before I move on.

• Let a pattern be named without explaining it away. She never once asked me what I was talking about. She said, I am very much aware of that.

• Catch yourself out loud. I was so inspired that I was about to go and ask people to join me, and then I said stop, stop, stop, come back, come back, come back.

• Laugh when it lands.

• Leave without resolving it. I will walk with this.

And the swap. Everywhere I wrote you in that second recipe, go ahead and write your client, and it becomes the list of everything you get to make safe for her.

Where to go from here

How would it feel to be seen in this way. To have someone remember you, and track your cycle, and lovingly guide you.

The way you hold space is downstream of what you actually carry, so the place I would start is your own medicine. You can meet your magic and medicine in about a minute, and it will tell you which of these three you already reach for without being taught.

If the loop in this letter is one you recognize, The Knot No. 002 sits with why the business side of coaching feels so hard, and The Recipe Card No. 001 is the first of these, on nurturing client relationships without it becoming one more task.

And if you would love a room where someone is tracking your cycle while you build the one offer, LUSH Business Academy is not a boring business program. The magic of it is in showing up on the journey and asking for help, and being willing to walk even in the darkest moments and call out for support, reflections, guidance, and a compass. And I, divine one, can help you with that.

all about magic and miracles,

Sora xo